A mother celebrating her daughter's first flowering is seeking to eliminate any notion of fear and ignorance. She is helping her daughter to celebrate knowledge — the knowledge of knowing her body and its sacredness. Because I did not want Banvoa to fear her flowering, I thought, "What can I do as a mother to ease any anxiety Banvoa might have thinking about the start of her first cycle?" So, I thought to have what I called a Flowering Party. The purpose of the Flowering Party is to encourage the young girl not to be afraid of her menstrual cycle, but to embrace it as a natural phase her body experiences as a part of the reproductive system. The Flowering Party is a comforting moment of sharing and bonding between mother, daughter and other women who cherish and support the woman to be in her growth and maturity. The Flowering Party helps to build the girl's self-esteem and worth. It is a celebration of knowledge and support, befitting for any young girl who is preparing to start her menses — an intimate time that mindfully nurtures and celebrates the femininity of the young girl as she enters womanhood. The Flowering Party is just another layer of fabric in a large quilt that is seeking to affirm young girls.
When I was planning for Banvoa's Flowering Party, I was confident she would enjoy it. I included her in the planning of her celebration. It was a wonderful moment shared between us. Because the Flowering Party is an intimate time of sharing, we celebrated it at home.
One of the most precious moments of the Flowering Party is the gift that you as the mother give. Offer your daughter a gift she will keep for a lifetime. The gift that I offered my daughter was a beautiful gold butterfly necklace to symbolize the change she would experience. The way the Flowering Party proceeds is we all have small talk; then we bless the food and eat; afterwards we gather in a circle to have prayer; each woman says her own individual prayer with your daughter in mind; then your daughter is in the center of the room to share her gifts. For the finale, the mother offers her gift last. If the father is in the young girl's life, his gift is offered before the mother's.
"When Banvoa started her first flowering, she was not afraid. She was ready for it." — Marlo Y. Ettien
The Flowering Party was so life-changing that my daughter and I celebrate the anniversary of her party. This is how we celebrated Banvoa's first flowering. When she started her first cycle, she was not afraid. She was ready for it. This is encouraging because this is what we wanted and needed for her — not to be afraid of her own body. She should not be afraid of any aspect of her body, especially her menses, since she will experience it for many years. We wanted her entry into womanhood to be a celebration as its newest member. Banvoa's Flowering Party showered her with love.
We wanted Banvoa to reflect on her first flowering with joy — so precious that we knew it was important to write down the story of the experience to be treasured from one generation to the next. I encourage mothers to write the story to have as a keepsake for their daughter. Writing the story makes it cast in history.
As a mother, I loved celebrating Banvoa with a Flowering Party. It was my way to honor her and prepare her for her flowering. Having the Flowering Party shows how much I care for Banvoa. It reveals how important it is to know what to do in very significant situations. Banvoa knew how important her first flowering was — it was an amazing change in the biology of her body, and she knew she had to be ready for it.
Having the Flowering Party proved to Banvoa how important her life is to our family and friends. This is why my friends encouraged me to write I Am a Beautiful Flower: What Every Flowering Girl Should Know — for other mothers to share with their daughters. After the Flowering Party, it was 21 days later that Banvoa had her first flowering. The Flowering Party was perfectly timed. This was God's grace. When Banvoa started her first flowering, she promptly called the women in her sacred circle to announce that she was now a woman. Celebrating Banvoa's first flowering built up her confidence, self-esteem and worth. That is how she was ready for her first flowering. The Flowering Party proves that we need to celebrate our daughters into womanhood. And yes, celebrating your daughter's first flowering can really be amazing.